Hear the distant rumble. Ram the ramparts. Hustle the muskets to the nearest landing strip.
The sound you hear is not a summer storm but the rolling plunder of Donald Trump seeking further employment by us.
Flanked by tanks, escorted by bomberooks — with his presidential bullhorn he commends “unity” to a nation grown disorderly and just plain tired of him.
By certain accounts he put on a great show at the feet of Lincoln July 4. Apologists in the pundit set certainly thought so. They exhaled a great gust of relief to see Trump stick to (fractured) American history and freebie points about our great military.
Marc Thiessen raved that Trump had been “unifying” and scolded critics who expected something else.
Pat Buchanan gushed that Trump displayed perfect pitch: “positive, patriotic, uplifting,” oh, and “presidential.”
Imagine anyone needing to plead said case for Roosevelt, Truman, Eisenhower, Obama. Each of those presidents knew from Day One what the office demanded.
Marc Thiessen raved that Trump had been “unifying,” and scolded critics who expected something else.
On behalf of those who expected a clown act from Trump, let me apologize for having paid attention over the last three years.
Most Americans by now judge any “presidential” pretense to be a ruse from a man whose every other sentence is either a tall tale or a low blow aimed at any who eschew the hook-line-sinker fascination that is him.
The headlines said a surprisingly stately Trump called on his audience to “stay true to our cause,” but we all know (even his acolytes know) the only cause that truly motivates his movement is his pronoun: “me.”
Most Americans know that the “us” Trump mentions doesn’t include them. They know that the “us” is really the folks with the VIP tickets to the big event – those conveniently fenced off from the rabble.
Chain-link: the defining feature of the Trump presidency.
People who visit the national parks should ask for a refund for their fees – raised under this administration – for the $2.5 million siphoned from the parks budget to pay for this campaign event.
Those fees are not cheap anymore. And only one American can rely on the taxpayers to pay for all of his recreation, not to mention steal from the military budget when Congress won’t fund his border fence.
Actually, a judge just said he can’t do that. As with a citizenship question on the census, Trump proceeds as if he doesn’t hear.
Trump, by review, wanted something much grander than what transpired July 4, something far more extensive and expensive, but got major blowback from the Pentagon.
He wanted what they do in Moscow and what they do in Pyongyang. He wanted, with Lincoln and our flag as his backdrop, to do what dictators do.
Tanks? Fighter jets? Civilian flights grounded? No big deal, said he. “We own those things,” he said. All it costs is a little fuel.
We all know what “we” Trump is using in that sentence, and it’s not you and me.
Regardless, we will continue to foot the bill for angry rallies of red-capped people who love it when Trump goes all against “them.” Read the thought bubbles of those crowds: “Them” means Muslims, Mexicans, gays and lesbians, and of course liberals.
Unity? Patriotism? Voters who have been watching this divisive presidency now know what pronoun Trump is all about — it’s not “us.” And it’s not at all what the first half of the initials “U.S.” stand for: united.
With polls showing most Americans disapproving of what he is and has done, Trump should brace for when voters will remind him that “we” get the final say.
Longtime newspaperman John Young lives in Colorado. Email: firstname.lastname@example.org.