Welcome back to the Republican National Convention. To review, we had hoped, via a teeming arena in Florida, to infect as many as possible with our special brand of recklessness, but Gov. DeSantis beat us to that. So we’ve taken notes from the Democrats and will do it remotely.…
Mike Pence just turned a whiter shade of pale. The very last person with whom he wanted to share TV glare on-stage is coming his way. If Donald Trump can’t delay the election, can Pence delay the vice presidential debates — till Bowl Week? Kamala Harris…
This week, Sturgis, S.D., is the best place in America to be a germ. Its population of 6,943, has grown by 250,000 or so for the Sturgis 2020 motorcycle rally. Even if we don’t count microbes, it’s by far the nation’s biggest gathering since the pandemic began. Elbow…
What do my pet store and the great grandson of Theodore Roosevelt have in common? Quite a bit, actually. First, my pet store. It’s a big chain — no surprise — and therefore nothing unusual. However, its devotion to people’s safety is remarkable – so much that it…
Cure the evils of Democracy by the evils of Fascism! Funny therapeutics. I’ve heard of their curing syphilis by giving the patient malaria, but I’ve never heard of their curing malaria by giving the patient syphilis! …
What a horrible, horrible time. A staggering – and staggered — 73 percent of us say the nation is headed in the wrong direction. Nonetheless – and don’t count me among the unfathomable 27 percent giving today a thumbs up — count me as highly encouraged. …
Can he interest you in some statuary? We’re talking fully functional statues here – Confederate heroes, conquerors, all the best. And at low, low flea-market prices. Donald Trump, whose cracked lips will never utter the “Black” in “Black Lives Matter,” is your man if your interest…
Where is Mike Pence today to tell everybody it’s all under control? Come out, come out, wherever you are, people. Not to go all InfoWars here, but I’m going to offer a conspiracy theory: Everywhere Pence visits, COVID cases spike. Is he our super-spreader? Where is Donald…
Here we go, a slide down a razor blade of more death and disruption. This against a foe we know how to beat. New York is beating it. Europe is beating it. Australia is beating it. But vast swaths of the United States are getting their cans…
It was a small misunderstanding. A little thing, really. The two men were prone on the ground face-first, fearing for their lives. A man with two Glocks and the tactical vest had ’em there. He was sure they were antifa. Leave it to the media to make…