When I read about bicyclists going out for a night ride in nothing but their underthings, it did not occur initially to me that the United Nations was behind it. That was before Dan Maes, the Republican nominee for governor of Colorado, convinced me it was so. Forces of darkness…
Great moments in media-abetted hatred: 1890s — L. Frank Baum, who would later pen "The Wizard of Oz," writes editorials in the Aberdeen (S.D.) Saturday Pioneer calling for the extermination of native Americans. He calls them “a pack of whining curs.” Two weeks later, federal troops massacre hundreds of Sioux camped at…
“YOU can be a millionaire and never pay taxes,” Steve Martin would tell audiences, repeating for effect. “You ask: Steve, ‘How can I be a millionaire and never pay taxes?” “First, get a million dollars . . .” Martin’s punch line? If the taxman inquires…
Submitted for your approval: In this “Twilight Zone” election year, Democrats are thinking they might snatch victory out of the jaws of defeat. They're right. It’s increasingly likely, and increasingly they can thank the jaws of the Tea Party. Nationwide, and in state capitols, what was…
Having known her for as long as we have, we understand why the Waco animal shelter didn’t bother to give her a name. While all the other dogs had names assigned to pique a potential suitor’s interest, the card on her holding pen read, “Unadoptable.” We took her anyway. I…
Another merchant has lost my business, this time a barber. And it’s unfortunate, because my hair and I are in the market. I’d love to hand someone money to manage what fiber remains on my head, but I won’t sit there and endure a forced march through the brain of Glenn Beck in the process.…
Disregard the trail of blood they’ve wrought, the cumulative protection falsely assigned them. Say this much about guns: At least they allow certain folks to get specific about “freedom.” Surely I’m not the only one who’s noticed. Those who get most melodic about “freedom” trail off into mumbles on lyrics…
The crazed, blazing rhetoric gets confusing. Barack Obama has done too little about the economy. Obama has done too much. Two opposing critiques, same set of mouths. As in: Obama is pro-big government and anti-business. Oh, but of course, he’s in the pocket of big business. (You know, BP.) …
Oil seeped from a hole in the Gulf’s heart. State budgets continued to bleed from the worst economy since food riots. The Afghan military ordeal officially became Vietnam-long. And what was America talking about? Football. And not even the World Cup brand, which at least was about to be played. America was…
We don’t know this to be unprecedented. The girls generally have demurred in the public eye. But one of the Bush twins now stands guilty of committing truth. Or heresy, to those who think health care is a privilege of being born on a proper plot of ground. Those people also will…