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All together now: ‘If I were president

UncategorizedBy John YoungOctober 31, 2012Leave a comment

     You can’t always get what you wa-ant.      You can’t always get what you wa-ant.      But if you don’t take some time to make up your mind, you’ll get what you detest.      Apologies to the Stones.      No apologies to the Nader voters in Florida who elected George W.…

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Tea party’s ship of tools

UncategorizedBy John YoungOctober 24, 2012Leave a comment

   “His political platforms were only the wings of a windmill . . . His celebrated piety was that of a traveling salesman.”    Sinclair Lewis’ line in It Can’t Happen Here describes a fictitious candidate who leads a populist-tinted corporate takeover of America. In other words: a tea party dream.     Lewis could…

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Two fighters, two posers

UncategorizedBy John YoungOctober 18, 2012Leave a comment

  The heavyweight bout was already won Tuesday night when the president turned to his rival, looked at only him, and delivered a knockout blow:   “The suggestion that anybody on my team would play politics or mislead when we’ve lost four of our own, Governor, is offensive . . . That’s not what I do…

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Word associations for a winner

UncategorizedBy John YoungOctober 10, 2012Leave a comment

   Head bone’s connected to the neck bone. Shoulder bone’s connected to the arm bone. Arm bone’s connected to the thumb bone. Thumb bone’s connected to the “mute” button.    This election has been a pain in the neck bone.     To win our hearts, the dueling sides cumulatively have spent enough to build…

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For schools, ‘spring’ coming

UncategorizedBy John YoungOctober 2, 2012Leave a comment

  You wonder: How possible?   Some crazed idealist immolates himself in the square. A small, hapless group of protesters makes the case against suffocating oppression. Protests get bigger. A general jumps ship here. A lieutenant jumps ship there. More protests emanate.   And suddenly, stunningly, “school accountability” as we once knew it, and feared it…

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Sticking it to the wretched 47 percent

UncategorizedBy John YoungSeptember 26, 20121 Comment

    It’s time to stop dog piling on Mitt Romney for what he said about the “47 percent.” Time is better spent dogging him for what his words mean regarding public policy.    After all, that’s what elections are supposed to be about.    Let’s give the GOP standard-bearer credit for spawning, on tape amid…

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If Mitt had used hand sanitizer

UncategorizedBy John YoungSeptember 18, 2012Leave a comment

  I have no other explanation for this except in terms of the petri dish.   None but the kind of culture that goes from throat swab to black plague.   Take a moderate, statesmanlike, center-right Republican. Expose him constantly to the germs of extreme ideology and backwater stagnation. Watch fever consume him.    Watch his…

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Flash mob against No Child Left Behind

UncategorizedBy John YoungSeptember 12, 2012Leave a comment

    This is Quebec souring on maple syrup.     This is France joining the Coalition of the Willing.     This is Alabama lawmakers swearing off public use of Bible verses.     This is Texas seeking a waiver from No Child Left Behind.     For those current-events challenged, the first three are fanciful,…

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Just say they have mis-facted

UncategorizedBy John YoungSeptember 4, 2012Leave a comment

   Sure, Paul Ryan walked truth off the pier and into Tampa Bay in concrete loafers.    Sure, newspapers rushed to press whole special sections cataloging the extent of factual impairment he exhibited, not even having room for that lie about his time running the marathon.    I quibble nonetheless with The Washington Post’s Eugene…

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Bizarro biology and women’s bodies

UncategorizedBy John YoungAugust 29, 2012Leave a comment

   As Isaac headed into the gulf, the Republicans were talking up a storm. Not about elixirs for the economy their policies helped wreck, but about a subject that is a certain loser in November:    How best for government to dictate the result of a woman’s unwanted pregnancy.     Mitt Romney says he would…

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